Are You a Good Neighbor, or is it More?
Sometimes the lines can get blurred between being a good friend and neighbor and becoming a caregiver. We all want to help out those we care about. We offer to bring over a dish when someone is feeling ill, or we offer a ride to an appointment for someone who doesn’t drive.
But how do we keep from crossing the line from being a “good neighbor” to becoming a “caregiver”? And how do we keep from overloading our friends if our needs become greater or more frequent?
One of the many benefits of living in a community such as Lenbrook is the multitude of support systems that are already in place. The key is to know when to utilize these systems so that others who care about you don’t become overwhelmed.
It’s Hard to Say No
Often times, when one offers to lend a hand, those favors can easily multiply and turn into running weekly errands, grocery shopping, car rides to various appointments and even companionship that may take up more time than originally anticipated. And once that ball gets rolling it can be hard to say no.
Of course, assisting with all of the above is a kind and genuine desire coming from a place of deep caring. However, the underlying concern is that if your neighbor requires that much help from you, there are likely many more things they need that they may not even be expressing.
And truth be told, it puts you in a position of burning out and becoming susceptible to added stress and worry, ultimately putting your own health at risk. This is especially true for spouses. It is engrained in us to take care of our better half “for better or for worse”, but if you are not taking care of yourself, and something were to happen to you, then you’re at risk of becoming unable to help yourself or others.
Lighten the Load With Outside Help
This is why it is important to reach out for help and to seek the support of experts who can alleviate some of those responsibilities. Here at Lenbrook, we’ve vetted out exemplary agencies that can offer many options for care. From a more flexible “shared service” option with only a few hours of assistance to full, round-the-clock caregiver assistance, the needs of your neighbor or spouse can be met in a safe and comfortable manner.
Quality Time Vs. Chore Time
It is important that you can spend quality time with your neighbor or spouse as a friend and partner, and not just as a caregiver. Enjoying the time together without doting over chores and daily responsibilities can aid in a more fulfilled and healthier relationship.
And, yes, there is a fee involved in hiring in some care. But ask yourself this, “How much is someone’s safety and well-being worth?” I bet if you asked a loved one, they would say it is priceless.
Cristina Ramey, MSW, PSC, is Director of Lenbrook’s LIVE! enrichment program where she helps residents navigate changes in health, interests, wants and needs. She is a University of Georgia graduate with a master’s in social work and holds an undergraduate degree in human and social services from Kennesaw State University.